i broke the public computer´s keyboard while writing this

Yello folks, how’s that cold weather treating you? Great? You love it? Florida can suck it? hmmm..yeah that’s what I thought. Cold weather here is nonexistent and I’m just getting a taste right now of what the months of January and February will be bringing. Hell. I am utterly convinced that the Devil would have a jolly ol time up in this joint. I’m not saying this place resembles hell, no way! It just is as hot as it. I currently wear three items of clothing in rotation. A white elastic-banded skirt which has a tendency to get stuck in my underwear, knee-length maroon shorts, and a pair of Nike running shorts. These all accommodate my inflated/bloated self, which probably results form eating rice for every GD meal. I would throw my other pair of Nike shorts into the rotation as well, but a puppy peed all over them and I haven’t washed an item of clothing (minus underwear) since I got here.

Yesterday I went to one of the primary schools to talk with the principal about teaching a culture or geography class during summer vacation which starts in January. After kind of getting shut down in favor of playing sports all day (which Im planning on doing also) I retreated home, hot and sweaty and ready for a nap. My family, sensing my overheatedness, suggested we all go the river Tumbes to cool off which I was definitely in favor of. The river comes into Tumbes from Ecuador and right now is pretty low since we haven’t had rain since last January. However, it still was awesome. Its only a three minute walk from my house and the water is perfect (clean, I’m not so sure, but it felt great). My mom, brother, sister, cousins and I all hung out, sitting and swimming along, making way when horses carrying tons of corn passed through from nearby chacras and calling out to the herd of sheep that was left stranded on an island by my cousin Ronny, who decided it was more important to play water tag than feed his pets (he got a spanking later for that). My family kept talking about how little fish were nibbling at them (which I didn’t believe) until something WITH TEETH latched on to my ring on my left hand. This induced heavy screaming on my part so after shaking JAWS off, I lost all street cred with my family as far as being cool with wildlife. Beware the Peruvian water, folks. I was soon laughing hysterically though when a mother who after crossing the river with her 7-9 year old son, started throwing rocks at her kid when he decided to stay in the river and play. Seriously, this mother was throwing rocks and cursing at him to get out and go home. Her son continued to keep swimming, dodging in and out of rocks until his mom gave up and proceeded to walk on home.

So today was a new day. My dad said he was going to the chacra (field) to go pick up some choclo (corn). I enthusiastically asked if I could go with and so this turned into a family adventure to the banana fields. It was more like a five minute trip to a scene from Jurassic Park. I really have to get a picture up here for you all of these platano (plantain) fields because the trees are just so exotic and the leafs so gianormous it really seems like a different world walking though a field of them. There were also a few mango trees here and there and we managed to find a massive one with hundreds of mangoes on the ground and still hanging. What does this mean in Peruvian terms? Free food. My brother scrambled up the tree and was shaking the branches while my mom, sister and I ran around, half taking cover form flying mangoes and half running around trying to pick them all up. After all was said and done, we had gotten at least 200 mangoes and piled them into the back of my dad’s car. Like I said, these were all free and the guy working in the chacra said we could take as many as we could because mangoes are so bountiful here at this time of year. RAD! I have eaten five so far today.

Let’s see, on the down side of things I’ve had some wardrobe malfunctions like I mentioned above. I wear skirts a lot and I don’t know why but here I always manage to tuck them into my underwear after using the ladies’ room. This has proved on two occasions, to be an awkward conversation for my family to initiate (aka tell me that my toosh is hanging out), and also on one occasion to be the most mortifying moment of my life when I was at the training center back in Lima and a boy who I thought was by far the cutest in our group (and may or may not have had a secret girl crush on), told me, yes, my skirt was tucked into my underwear. I almost feel like Josie Grossy from Never Been Kissed sometimes.

Also, I would just like to continue with telling you all that I plan on eliminating the pet parrot, Polly somehow while I’m here these next two years. This God forsaken creature will not stop molesting/ biting me and today when I came home and sat on the floor underneath his little perch…he proceeded to POOP on my just-showered hair. And a lot, too. While I laughed along with my family like a jolly Peace Corps volunteer would, I secretly was thinking about pawning him off in the market for a mere 5 soles. Thoughts?

Lastly, I know you all are probably wondering how the cock fighting tourney turned out. For me? Not good. There are still 10 roosters living next to me that wake up every morning at 2am. I must have done something in my past life to deserve this type of punishment. I need to find out the Spanish word for “earplugs.”

Okay, that’s all I’ve got for today folks. I’m going out for drinks and pizza in 20!